I just do not get how life can be unfair sometimes. He was introduced to me by a colleague. We went out with his entourage and it pretty much went well. Though I have been told that I get along very well with people, I was aware that I have made a nice impression on his group. Even though one of them had courted me in the past and that I have turned down, the guy has now moved on and have found the right girl for him. I took it as a relief and concentrated on this guys was introduced to. The Date. He is tall and slim, but it seemed he lack exercise, or so that I could just see he has a appetite and that his belly gives it away. After that night, we spoke on the phone occasionally, texted whenever there’s a need of help in marketing their business, visiting me here in the office, when he has a meeting elsewhere and that he just didn’t have no where else to go and wait until the scheduled time of meeting begins. It was in those times that I have known him, the so little information I have learned mostly, observations of his words and actions, ad how he reacts to and to the things I would say. we have gone out 2 to 3 times, and that’s about the time we have spent together. All those nights we waste on the phone, talking nonsense, and sometimes about life in general, have left me questioning about his feelings for me. In many ways he has jokingly expressed his feelings for me, either true, or like what I said, jokingly, a half-meant truth. I never wanted to assume, as it has been a burden for me, knowing that something is what I have expected, as in truth it is the opposite. Many times it ahs given me hope for better things in life, but never the less, have brought me despair, in all things, not only in love like a child, I am lost to wander the sandpits of the vast and empty playground in this phase of my life. Today, this guy whom I thought has feeling for me, and yes, whom I’ve gotten to like also, has come to visit. He got some materials for his requirement, a favor he has asked of me for his mom. Instead of just taking the things he needed, he asked how I am, and we chatted a few minutes. He tells me all of a sudden how sad he has become. And I asked why. He told me about his constant thought about dating, going out and not being happy about it. Though he says that he enjoys their company, its not the same meaning as being happy about it. Whatever it means, I could not explain, I know how he feels, so I told him. And then asked, " how about me? Do u feel unhappy when in my company?" and he replied that if he were unhappy, would he be visiting me right now? (He sounded like me, a hoax at exposing one’s thoughts) at times though I think it is good, as it helps people relax, you tell them what they want to hear, and yet, of course I would know when not to, and tell them the truth when the audience is willing to hear it. At this point I feel like being slapped by my own hand. I guess he does not take me seriously now because I have always done the same with him as expressed through my actions and how I speak to him. it just feels sad to realize, how hard it is to accept that, when I asked "now, why are u telling me this?" he said "I just think that I want to open up to you now, since we’re friends anyway, right?" and I just said "yeah we are."
( I just do not get how life can be unfair sometimes…)
