i love my attitude problem.

I cannot fully compensate the words he would say about my character. That’s who I am and I cannot change over night. He may seem nice and approachable, but his occasional outbursts would tick me off most times. I try to be MORE understanding and learn to be very VERY patient. God has let me experience a lot of things in life, but in this case, he has been testing my patience. I believe the key to this is to be compassionate. We often times confuse emotional distresses with being compassionate and that holds clearly now a different meaning. Yes I am compassionate, when I am deeply moved by pity. Yes I am emotional when I am angry. Yes this is the best type of worse kind of person life can offer. He says other people hate my character. He says I have a problem with my attitude. He does not speak in behalf of the world. I love my attitude problem.

construction site deaths.

Thursday.

Supposedly site day for us all. I got used to tagging along with the senior engineers to inspect all our active projects. We attend construction meetings and coordinate with everyone involved. Today, I look back at those times they used to take me with them. It does not help to think that I have been withdrawn from going out of the office because of safety reasons. Number of accidents have been reported. Construction worker, on the way out of the project got his head hit by a falling CHB. He died. Last time a guy got hit by a falling glass panel. It went straight mid on his head. He got into a coma and died. Previously, an elevator was being maintained by the elevator contractors, two persons were assigned to the task. One does internal, and the other controls from outside the elevator car. the car was miscontrolled and the guy inside lost his head. It was during operating hours, and passers-by witnessed this. It was both a shocking and exciting experience. I missed it.

sleep.

each day ends at two in the morning. yet i lay on my bed listening to the soothing hum of the air conditioner. i check my watch and tell myself i must sleep before i wake up in three hours...