Reply.

well.. my reply to him then... what was i thinking?!
for Sun Aug 10, 2008, 5:43 PM

and she said ... "haha well, i just asked kasi mejo un dating ng mga photos niya you all the time, so i wanted to ask you that, something i might not know. i told you that its okay and that i think she really likes you and im not against it. we have been off for so long and we have been on our separate ways before pa. im flattered that you feel that way towards me and in truth i can't same i feel the same way. i know i have told you that when you came here in the country to visit and we understood it well. i believe we had closure then and i presume we are good since then. i miss your company though, as iv said, things have been different ever since. i guess we have grown and we have matured a bit. i am glad this has all happened and that i do not regret the things we have done together, whether it be for each other or to each other or with each other. everything. i know its not nice talking about this through writing but this is what communication we have right now. but im sure if we did talk face to face it would be the same and we could have talked comfortably and sensibly to one another. haha unlike before where you would talk non-stop and i would not want to hear it and just hit you in the face maybe. hahahha!! kiddin' anyway, it's a new week, and a new outfit to work. haha!! regardless of the pile of jobs to do for the morning, and the rest of incoming to work on the rest of the day, i take working as a crossword puzzle or like Sudoku, where i have to do it to not waste time and still learn something new each time. days for me is a blessing now, as opposed to last week when i looked at it as just time to waste.good morning to the world and to the mutated bunnies hopping wildly in our garden!! hahah!! ^^ "

Listening to: Augustana - More Than A Love Song

break time!! ^^

it was then, my first time to go diving...
this is for Wed Jul 2, 2008, 1:29 PM

ever since, i have never stopped praying for the board examination (preparation, while taking it, and the anticipation before the results are revealed, the oath taking, and the "after" -what to do next.)

i leave it all to God now, and just hope for the best!! ^^

and instead of worrying too much about it.......

i thought i'd have a little vacation. practically doing nothing or bumming around isn't so abd either. hehehe. the day after our design examinations, i slept like forever, woke up late in the afternoon. i didn't even notice it was past lunch. i guess the conditioning was too soothing, too comfortable. it seems like i was "parang hinehele ng duyan" (swaying on a hammock).

Went to Ki spa at Wilson the next day. it was de-stressing, i should say. was with Koo then and i thought I'd treat her too and as a graduation reward, for being a Novus Ordus awardee, the least i could tell her how proud i am of her and she too deserves a break. we had dinner at Manila Polo club with Jus. the food was awesome! either that or we were just too hungry or that i just loved eating. haha!!

yesterday, watched Wanted. it was a porma movie. every scene had to remind me of Narnia. maybe it was because of Mr. Tho-Thomnas or maybe it was the slow motioning and pulsating beat i hear from the Dolby / THX whichever Trinoma has in their cinemas. hmm, whatever it was, it was a good enough movie and it "helped" pass time. i don't want to go back and work yet. not maybe in another week or so. oh and TGIF's grilled chicken + bbq sauce + blue cheese dip just made my day. yumm-o. (Oh, thanks Matt, im glad we too this time off. btw, you rocked that guitar game at Timezone! hahha!!) ah, won this cute pink mushroom, too!! nyu nyu nyuuuuuuu!! :3

Tomorrow i go to an introductory Dive with Tin. -swim wear? check.
-towels? check.
-extra clothes? check.
-wet suit?
-goggles?
-fins..?
ah i think Jojo got those already. hehehe. Yay! Can't wait for tomorrow!! ^^

• Mood: Triumph
• Listening to: Yellowcard
• Reading: Bldg Tech reviewers...shucks, got used to reviewing
• Watching: Itachi. hot hot hot!!! *melts*
• Eating: Mango Flavoured Yogurt
• Drinking: Water

anti-chickening out.

for records purposes, i'm keeping this so that i could delete files from my notebook.
for Mon May 26, 2008, 10:47 AM


exactly one month before architecture board exam!!! i don't know if i should chicken out again, but then, it won't do me any good. i would just prolong this feeling of incompleteness. haha!! most Archi grads feel this way, until they get hold of their licenses. yes, that will be the day when i could say ......
"Yes, I've done it!! Starting today things will go differently, and life will definitely be better for me!!!" ^___^



it's just that there's too much studying. not that i take more breaks than the actual "reviewing" hehehhe.... just can't bear sitting in one corner for ten minutes reading about the Fire Code, or RA9266 or VSTRs or 1F.U. = 7.5 gal.min or Le Corbusier's 5 or VRV or hypostile, 2 way slabs, and moment of inflections or the standard measurements of mostly, everything!!!

every other day, review center for me,
other days, i drown myself in the 10+ piles of the different subjects to be reviewed. other than that,
this log book, is taking much of my time. i know i should not put too much detail into it, more like, generalizing na. hurry up Lainey, got to file these at PRC before the weekends!! (deadline is next week June 6!!) agrgh!!! hmp, let alone this stupid pre-board.

i thought i was glad i took that PLEET last year, when Dean Fernandez required us all to take it or else he would not sign our log books. after 2 board examinations since June 2007, the BOA now hears the cry of the Arki children. and well, makes bali-wala the dean's role. mejo disrespectful though, and says that the kids taking the exam this time, may or may not have their dean's signature, 'coz the transcripts and the diplomas certify that the student did grad from that university. sus. what good does that balita do me? just shows that there is injustice after all. Ty was held up last January 2008 from taking the exam because of that n biglang ganito this time?

bad trip ah.

then again, if i look at it in a different perspective, it might have been a warning, an evaluation, i weighted that i might not have answered much in the test and i am not prepared at all. (so thank you Archt. R. Alli, and Dean JJ. hahha!!! ) but, maybe it also was a test of faith n confidence. Maybe if i did not chicken out. i could have gone through the exam and be not worring now. *grrrrrrrrr*

i should change my attitude now before i go back to chickening out again, i should be excited and geekily (nyayyy) and happily (ugh) prepare for the last week of June 2008!!

yep, i can't wait!!! (sarcastic. hahha)

La La Lie. iLove !!

He is above all this. He sees to it that our friends do not leave us, neither would our family, it is his way of telling us, how deeply hurt he is when we are troubled; how deeply moved he is when we are emotional; how ecstatic he is when we are excited and happy. He feels us.

In times of trouble, we run to our friends for support, our family, if all else fails to give us that comfort we need. Never the less the requirement from either one, we heed compassion from them. We see empathy that they, yes, feel our pain. They literally cry with us, and ride with us when we are in the pits. We rely so much on other people’s support, because we know that they will uplift us from too much sadness, and worry. Like in a dream, they are the Sandman waiting to rescue us from our endless fall.

That's why they would sometimes need to La La Lie too.... ^___^

Hehehe...Thank you so much to Toni Agustin and Monica for the Everything in Transit CD. iLove !! ^______^ *mwahhhhhh!!!!!!

Congratulations on your wedding!!! ^^

My Prom Night.

he asked me to the prom.
he tells me his dreams.
he talks to me about life and art and how it gives him hope to love again.
i thought differently, finding out that he is into someone else.
she gives him a slap instead of a kiss.
he told me i have won.
and in what way?
i remain alone.
and he continues to walk behind her...
...on my prom night.


(dammmitttttttt!!!!!!!!)

When the queen finally kissed a worker bee . . .

i had to keep this.
it's by my friend Marvin.


Foggy windows that I never washed
Leave spots that the morning sun reveals
I squint to see past those lovely brown remnants
Shrugged off in revs over speed bumps

Little dark gifts with big heads, cute
Now discoloured and originally undeserved
Are the reasons why I struggle to see
Using kindness on a long-lost cause

And pointless shame and memory
Keep the dirt inside a chanced luxury
A treasure of Cool Watered tears and kisses
Repeats alongside old track 12

Hypnotizing, the voice
But like a fan I follow and say
That I must need you. How I hate you.
How I hate your lips, they sucked my neck

In ecstasy
That is there again as the sunrise climbs
And I follow the warmth, falling everyday,
because of the miracle
When the queen finally kissed a worker bee

-MW

Tired Eyes - i just jhad to edit Bruno Carvalho's 'Dead Eyes'

TIRED EYES

Look into my tired eyes
in them I've kept so many lies
drink all of my sadness
taste me more than just that, Your Highness

Hear my loudest whisper
Do not hope, for you shall rather not decipher
the words I've spoken to you last night while i was drunk
all the love I said i had for u, and him, twas true, never meant to f*ck..

Around. I let you taste my kiss
all the sweetness of Red Horse, San Mig Light and Johnny Walker
months overdue, now it has poisoned you
all the hate I've swore to keep till i am sober.

You held my hands and pulled me close
I hope you understood
the pain I have to go through If you continue on making me
fall for you. In my tired eyes my whiskey flavored tears.

-i just had to "fix" Bruno Carvalho's poem, Pammie. this is my version. this all happened last night. maybe corny to you, 'coz m no writer... i just wanted to type......

...coz Johnny....was...WALKING....

Shipwrecked_6 Months

Noise lords my angelic heart

Like a grotesque piece of UP fine art

Composed of all mediums, colors and yelloe hues

More of a glow than just a shadow of your shoes.

My heart screams in incalculable distress

Like a shipwreck to me, i®is, your sky piratess

On a bot-infected wave of a matrix

Where congestion pleads “let me out if this cream fix!!”

My mind proclaim neither of our love is real

For it has to keep steady its pain, everything that it can bear

From these two people who are dear

To me, loving them would be my worst nightmare.

3 days past the most ecstatic of our college days

A week has gone since I last seen you, iv torn the memories into pieces

This sky above me, says nothing more or less

Of your love for me, you can’t even sacrifice your maiden in distress.

Thank you for letting him go

I am juvenile when drunk, and worse of all naive

To think that only happiness can save me

This heart he says he’s loved even for just 6 days times thirty.

I didn't know what i was thinking when i wrote this, but i know i was erm...depressed??! .... Pammie would tell me, "there's always another week to look forward to.., so cheer up!!" =T

I'm just not sure about her suggestion......... =(

cleaning up/ out/ wherever that says "me"

I've been cleaning out blogs and un-necessary up loadings.. so bear with me. =)

Rescue : Un-beleaguered and Un-frayed Since April Eight : Karma

i feel anxious, more like excited
un-beleaguered and un-frayed since April Eight
i seek aggravation
bustle and uproar i await
let it re-live unending for i will return to it without holding back

shall it be given back to me
unmindful of what others may whisper about
i want it back in my hands
despite the joy and karma it had once have me taste
i do not want it forgotten, nor thrown tom waste

i stand unsteadily
knowing why I did what I have done
without the tears
with all the labels they have named me
I have been watching, anticipating, waiting for your rescue

shall it be given back to me
unmindful of what others may whisper about
i want it back in my hands
despite the joy and karma it had once have me taste
i do not want it forgotten, nor thrown tom waste

I ask no question or doubt that you may not spare me a chance
the one and only, ours, and was never mine alone
I am certain where this shall lead me
I am. With or without you

But lost, still asking upon
I need you, and I am too stubborn to admit it
I have been watching, anticipating, waiting for your rescue

*if it's lousy, don't read. if you liked it, want you to know that i wrote this as 'reply' after reading Vinzi's song ("i want you back..")